Welcome to my blog. I can't promise this is going to be of much interest to anyone, but I'll do my best. At a minimum it's going to be honest and frank.

Today hasn't been a great day. I mean, nothing has gone directly wrong for me, but a lot of people around me have had a bad time of things, and I'm feeling pretty terrible about it all.

My boyfriend's grandmother passed away today. It was pretty much expected, but as you'd expect, still very sad. I only met her once, in hospital. She was a lovely lady, with a sweet heart and she made every effort to make me feel accepted despite the fact that at the time she was very poorly and frail. She could barely talk but she was still good to me. I helped her pick her meal choices out for that day, and we all did a crossword together. I'm really glad I got to meet her. I hope she's in peace now, and been reunited with his grandad. Who knows, maybe my grandparents and his grandparents are together now, looking down at us proud.

The worst bit about the whole situation is that I can't be there for Matt, physically. I just want to hold him and make sure he knows how loved he is, but I can't :( Not until Friday anyway. I really hope his mum and aunt are OK too. I hope God is with them and helping them through it, providing comfort and reassurance.

Further to this, my best friend from secondary school has been told her mother has just days to live. Her mum is only my mum's age; she's only my age. She had breast cancer, overcame it, and has now been swallowed up by ovarian cancer. It's evil. I cannot imagine what she is going through. I want to help her more than anything but I know really there's nothing I can do apart from be there for her. She really doesn't deserve this, not that anyone does, but she really doesn't. To lose your mum so young. I hope God is with her too. I do have to wonder sometimes, why God lets stuff like this happen to good people. I know he must have his reasons, but it doesn't seem at all fair.

So yeah, today hasn't been all that cheery really. I've got on OK with some work, enjoyed having the day off Uni actually. Sister's birthday tomorrow, so hopefully we'll be able to cheer her up after the tough time she's had lately too.

Will leave it there for today and hopefully write back with some better news soon.

Love, Ellie xxx